The Ending of an Era…

*Sniff* *Sniff* … today is the last day I will ever be in my early 40’s!  Yes, tomorrow I turn forty and a half.  As in 45 ya know.  I figure once you’re 45 you can no longer say you’re in your early 40’s, you are pretty much in the ding dang middle of this decade now.

I actually do not really care a whole lot about age.  It’s just a number.  I did not have a meltdown when I turned 30.  I did not have a mid-life crisis and buy a hot red convertible when I celebrated 40 {mainly because I had just given birth a bit over a year earlier and needed to haul four kids around}.  

Forty-five definitely has me feeling a little out of sorts though.  Not because I fear growing old or worry about wrinkles.  Rather, for a very different reason.  You see, my mother died when she was only 45 years old.  I was 17 at the time.  Now here I am about to turn that very same number, and I too have a 17 year old daughter (and 3 sons).  It’s just weird to think about for some reason.  I knew my mom died young and that it was WAY too young, indeed.  But, gosh … now that I am here at this same age … good grief, the perception is different.  It IS young, definitely too young to be done.  I cannot even begin to imagine how my father felt, at this age, to lose his mate and have to start over so-to-speak.  Suddenly a single parent.  Of course I always knew it was devastating.  It’s just hitting me odd now.  Why am I wigging out about this, lol.  Yes, that is a rhetorical question.

So guess what, I’m not done.  I’m not even close to being done.  I’m just getting started.  I’m smaller than I was in high school. I’m healthy.  I’m happily married, enjoying this season of motherhood … and even taking on college classes next week.  Why?  Because I can.  Why not?  

Tomorrow is not guaranteed.  So I make a point to live my life with intention, with purpose.  I know you cannot be brilliantly alive within every single detail of every single day.  Sometimes there is adventure, and sometimes there is disgusting laundry from two boys who spent a week at camp.  Sometimes there are road trips and water parks and smelling the flowers … and sometimes there is a stinky trashcan determined to make you feel incompetent.  Yet even in the mundane boring moments, frustrating fits of chaos, sweaty breaths of stress or failed attempts at Eggs Benedict … we can remain true to our character. We can remember our moral compass.  We can keep our attitude in check.  We can awake each day with gratitude and fall asleep counting our blessings.  

            Mom, Dad and Me

As always, make champion choices,
The Healthy Habit Lady