When I gave birth for the first time, I was not a young naive girl with little life experience. I was a 34 year old, educated, career-driven professional. Yet, I was shocked at all of the things that NOBODY ever told me about. Sure, everyone talks about labor pains and morning sickness and a bit about delivery …but I swear nobody ever told me about horrendous painful gas, hemorrhoids, hair loss, pooping on the table and other ugly truths nobody wants to admit.
But I digress, the title of this post is ‘Life As The Fat Girl’ …not ‘Child Birth Shockers’ … so let’s move on. The point I was trying to make is this: There are some things people never talk about. But maybe they should. There are harsh and ugly truths out there in the world that real live people experience, and unless asked or unless it’s personal to YOU … it’s not something discussed. I don’t know a lot about life as a black woman or discrimination against same-sex couples … so I will rely on others to share those truths; but for me, I DO know about life as a morbidly obese person. So I will share. Maybe I’ll share because if you’re not morbidly obese, you will read this and realize you do NOT want to go there. Maybe I’ll share because someone reading this IS morbidly obese and can relate and realize they’re not alone. And there’s hope. Or maybe I’ll just share because some people have no clue what life as the fat person is like.
Tidbits About My Life As The Fat Girl!
- Obese women often have low self esteem which leads to sexual promiscuity … confusing sex for love .. and thinking if a man wants to sleep with them – then they MUST be attractive. NOT! Some men learn pretty quickly that many obese women are easy targets and thus lots of one-night-stands occur, which feeds the cycle of low self esteem and it goes on and on. (Note: not all, but some)
- For years when we were first married, my husband tied my shoes. I thought it was romantic and it was totally his idea, but mainly I let him do it because it meant I did not have to bend over. I’ll never forget the day he said to me, you know you can easily tie your own shoes now, do you still want me doing it?
- I always used the handicapped stall in public restrooms because they are wider.
- I always asked for tables instead of booths at restaurants because booths were too tight and I could pull out the chairs at a table to make room.
- I could only drive cars that had an adjustable seat and tilted steering wheel so that I could accommodate my large size. Many seat belts were also problematic.
- Therefore; I almost always volunteered to drive when other people were involved, especially at work. I knew if I drove my own car, I would fit. If I HAD to ride with someone else, I would try very hard to ride in the front seat because I knew I would likely be very uncomfortable squeezing into a back seat.
- I would seek out movie theaters that had arm rests that lift up so I could ‘spill over’ into my husband’s seat. We called it cuddling, but let’s be honest, the arm rest cut into my hips.
- Shaving my legs was most troublesome and my husband would often do it for me, and if I was traveling, I got creative in my contortions and positions in the bath tub to accomplish this task.
- I much preferred showers with a removable shower head so I could optimally clean body areas that were hard to reach after using the bathroom. That’s probably TMI for you; but truth is truth and it is what it is.
- Walking up stairs was difficult. I avoided it at all costs.
- I hated riding bikes because the bike seat would hurt my butt so bad; and my big butt spilled all around the seat.
- I avoided theme parks because I could not fit into most rides or roller coasters, not to mention walking all over the park would do me in. Present day: I love roller coasters.
- I hated swim suits. I would cover up with baggy t-shirts and baggy swim shorts. I blamed it on the sun; but honestly I was hiding. I often wore clothes that were too big, believing the illusion that they hid me.
- I had to lose a lot of weight before I was able to get pregnant. Everybody thinks we ‘finally’ got pregnant because we adopted a child; but honestly … it was losing weight that did the trick, not adoption.
- I did not have regular cycles.
- When you are obese, the chafing of your thighs rubbing together is a serious problem.
- When a woman is obese, the stomach and fat that hangs down low, often rubs and causes skin irritations, and often that big stomach pouch has to be lifted up to do intimate things or use the restroom.
- Regardless of how smart, charming and professional you are … you will be judged if you are obese. It will happen a lot. People DO make fun of the obese, and some are not so subtle about it either.
- Obese people often are first in line for a great job until the face-to-face interview; where they are quickly told ‘thanks but no thanks’.
- Obese people lie about their eating habits.
- Airplane seats and airplane toilets are a nightmare for the obese. I traveled a LOT as an obese person and it was horrible. Walking around airports and carrying luggage or heavy things – – also a pain in the butt.
- I was at a wedding once, sat in a chair, and when I stood up the side arms of the chair stuck to my hips and it lifted off the ground as I started to stand. What a lovely image, a chair stuck to your butt at a formal event.
- I sat on a chair and it actually broke one time, at a pool. That was fun.
- I tried to swing on a swing and my butt wouldn’t fit in the swing and I got stuck for a few minutes trying to get out of the thing. Humiliating.
- I hated shirts with buttons, or jackets with buttons, because they would often pooch out, not lay flat. I have even used safety pins to get a shirt to not pooch in the breast area.
- Even though I am fairly short, only 5’4″ tall, I would need pants to be longer in length because when you are obese, the stomach area takes up a lot of space/material and thus raises up the pants. I did not really even realize this until I was much smaller and suddenly pants were long on me and realized I need a ‘petite’ length.
- When I lost 100 pounds, my shoe size shrunk a whole size and went from a W for wide to just normal. I had to buy all new shoes.
- Back fat is real. It is squishy. Bad bras make it worse. Little children love to poke and squeeze your back fat like it’s a toy. Yeah, that happened.
- Sit ups are impossible. Planks are pointless because your stomach is touching the floor anyway. Forget push-ups, at least in the traditional style.
- Fat people snore. Loudly. A lot.
- As a morbidly obese person, I found it difficult to find good doctors. Most of the doctors would just blame any and every problem on the weight and tell me to lose weight. And while many problems were in fact a result of the weight, some were not, and it took years to find a good physician to solve the puzzle.
- I also had trouble as an obese person finding a decent personal trainer. Only one in my memory stands out as competent, knowledgeable and helpful. This is primarily why I have decided to obtain my personal trainer certification.
- I often avoided cameras and mirrors. It’s amazing I have any fat photos at all.
- However; I have always been madly in love with my family, my kids – etc. I just love pictures and love taking them. Therefore, I would go out of my way to either hide behind people or objects or just make sure they were only head shots of me, or CROP pics before posting/sharing. Below, you will find a few examples of that. And with such a thought; I’ll stop rambling now.
As always, make champion choices,
The Healthy Habit Lady
What a candid post of life as an obese person. It is such a hard way to live and my heart goes out to anyone living life this way. The positive thing is that it doesn’t have to be this way, and with the right tools and support you can change your life.