Eyes On Your Own Plate

Something people have heard me say often is … Eyes on your own plate; you are not the food police. Now; granted I may be more sensitive than others on this topic due to my selective eating disorder and such … but I still stand by the sentiment wholeheartedly. What is healthy for me, could be toxic for you ~ and vice versa.

It used to drive me crazy when people would look at my plate at restaurants, or Church pot lucks, or holiday dinners …and say “oh honey is that ALL you’re going to eat” …. ugh! Or worse; when they try to add to my plate … oh hell no, don’t even try that. You worry about your body’s fuel, and I will worry about mine. Period.

The bottom line is this: who are you to judge what someone else is eating, unless possibly it is your child. Yet then it is not so much judging as parenting. At any rate; even if someone is piling up their plate with sweets and treats and fat-laden selections; that is THEIR business. It is quite likely that you do not know their story.

Now — if someone asks my advice, then they have opened a line of communication and conversation. Even still though, I will ask questions, not judge, and try to understand their needs, struggles, goals, etc. If you happen to be someone who is seeking nutritional counsel or personal training, let me know.

As always, make champion choices,
The Healthy Habit Lady

Categories: Food, SED | Tags: , | Leave a comment


Your perception is not my reality.  And my perception, is not yours.  Somewhere in between, usually shall lie the truth. With that in mind, let me tell you a story.

Once upon a time, many moons and meals ago … back when I was severely overweight … I went to an outdoor party. It was a cookout of sorts.  I was very self-conscious.  It was summer, very hot, and I hated wearing summer clothes anyway. I was stressing out about what to wear.  On top of that, there is the whole SED thing … and I was freaking out about what would be available that I could eat (or give the illusion of eating).  Even if they made hamburgers, and I could eat it plain … I was worried about whether or not the hosts would season or marinate their meat, and if they did, it would be a no-go for me.  Also – the smells – the myriad of horrible aromas that would radiate the place from all of the condiments, salads, and such … I always dreaded the smells of such events. I was just glad it was outdoors.  The good news is that I am perky, outgoing and usually could blow off such stress and anxiety with humor or sarcasm … and enjoy the people, rather than the food. I always, always ate beforehand when attending such activities.   But I tell you all of this to set the stage for my mindset. On the outside, I’m happy-go-lucky and enthusiastic and the life of the party. On the inside, I’m freaking out about how I look and the food issues.

So, after a lot of walking around and small talk, I find a chair to call my own. Time to relax. I plant my big butt in the chair and it collapses … and I tumble to the ground.  It was literally as if I had squashed the chair like a bug and now Deb is sprawled out on the patio. Can we say ‘humiliated’?  I was mortified.  I was absolutely convinced, in my mind, that the chair broke because I was too heavy. I immediately concluded that I obliterated the chair with my massive girth.

Now, just as I am about to laugh it off with some random awkward dose of sarcasm… a little old lady points out a part of the chair that was clearly already broken.  She literally offers me a hand to help me up and makes a funny remark about how I had the misfortune to pick the broken chair in which to rest my bum.  MY perception was that I broke the chair with my butt — yet that was most definitely NOT her perception at all.

So maybe keep my silly story in mind the next time you’re about to jump to conclusions, even about yourself.  Remember your perceptions shape your reality.  How do you see yourself?  How do you see the world?  Do you like what you see? If not, go change it.  Carry on.

Photo Credit: Nicole Frehsee

Photo Credit: Nicole Frehsee

As always, make champion choices,
The Healthy Habit Lady

Categories: Motivational, SED | Tags: , , , | 3 Comments

SED – Always Lurking

People ask me all of the time – so are you cured from your SED?  Heck no.  I highly doubt I will ever actually be ‘cured’.  However; I manage.  I improvise and improve.  This is about the best I can do.  Sometimes I go along, feeling great, and almost maybe kinda sort possibly forget about the whole SED thing … and then BAMMO WAMMO it will hit me in the face!  Yep, still there.

I noticed a few days ago that a fast food restaurant named Schlotsky’s sells soup.  I rarely go there, so I did not know this.  Upon further review, I realized they sell New England Clam Chowder.  Woo Hoo.  I like this kind of soup.  Of course; being the picky sort of gal that I am; I am very particular about where I get this kind of soup.  So far; the only place I have ever eaten it at in public is at Red Lobster or from Whole Foods.   So now that I had this knowledge that this fast food restaurant, which is very close to me, sells a soup I like, I wanted to try and eat some.

It took a few days to get up the courage, but I finally decided today was the day.  I ordered one cup WITHOUT toppings.  I was very clear about that.  It came in a little brown bag.  I get home; and it had toppings.  It was like the wind in my sails, just gone.  All enthusiasm for trying something new, just GONE.  So, now after gathering up bravery to try something new, I have to gather up even MORE stamina to determine if I am going to attempt to eat this stuff and modify it to my preference.

Okay, I dive in.   It was blah.  It was not fabulous.  Then I did something daunting. I looked up the nutritional information on the internet.  OH my word. Here is the breakdown: Holy Cow: 1 cup of soup: 1110 calories, 32 grams fat, 16 grams of saturated fat, 980 mg sodium, 143 carbs, 118 grams sugars, 93 grams protein. So maybe in those days I was gathering up courage to try a new dish, I should have looked up this info BEFORE I paid for it 🙂  OH well.  So do you think I will be making this a habit?  Soup from Schlotsky’s I mean?  Nope. Not at all.   But at least now I know it’s an option (maybe).

Meanwhile, in other news for the picky vegetable haters out there … I read an interesting blog post.  I like a LOT of the tips in here.   Of course I am reading it through my SED lenses of life, and even still, I believe the tips are solid! Some of the links to recipes are great. Therefore, I recommend giving it a peek if you care to do such.

As for storing vegetables and such, this is another great website.  If you ever wondered how long your favorite food or beverage will stay tasty, this is a good link for saving:

And if you’ve read this far and you are wondering what in the world is SED … well, here ya go … a video where I talk about it:

If you don’t want to watch a video, here is a link to picky eating vs selective eating disorder (SED) … it actually describes me very well …

Well there ya have it folks – -Spring is in bloom over here, and SED is in full bloom 24/7 😉 But that is okay – knowledge is power, and knowing what I have and what I’m dealing with is half the battle.  The other half is doing something about that.  With God, I am fully equipped.

Moral of the story?   Know your issues so you know what you’re fighting, and if you’re going to eat at Schlotsky’s then I highly suggest looking at the nutrition information before braving that adventure.


As always, make champion choices,
The Healthy Habit Lady

Categories: SED | Tags: , , | 3 Comments

Top Ten Things Folks Ask Me


What Do Folks Ask Me?

Recently, my blog and story got a boat load of attention.  That’s okay, I don’t mind.  With that, I got a ton of comments and questions.  Some of them almost made me cry.  I have been attempting to respond to everyone personally, but it is beginning to get difficult 🙂 Also, it occurs to me, a few of the questions may be on other people’s minds as well, and could be worthy of a blog post all on their own.  And maybe selfishly, it’ll save me time in the future when I get asked these same questions again, lol.  I am not putting the names of the person(s) whom asked, they will know who they are.  I will also paraphrase somewhat for continuity sake.

  1. “I find often I am singing myself the ugly fat cow song when I look in the mirror. Tell me how you fight this and get over this. How did you get the guts to step out from behind the car to have your picture taken to even take selfies without loathing yourself? I think this is the biggest problem I have right now.”
    • Well, God made me and God doesn’t make junk.  But I fully recognize not everyone believes in God or believes that.  I did write a poem to this belief here.  One thing to remember is that people are seriously not looking at you or thinking about you nearly as much as you think they are.  They probably are not even noticing. Only YOU notice your flaws.  Usually, anyhow.  As for haters or trolls, ignore them. Truly, grow a thick skin and learn to ignore them.  Nobody else gets to live in your body or live your life, don’t let the opinions of others rob you of your joy or your ability to get out into the world and enjoy it.  Put on that bathing suit, wear that tank top, splash in the water and laugh out loud.  Life is for the living.  I highly doubt you will be on your deathbed happy that you hid behind a tree.
  2. “How do you deal with loose skin?”
    • Well that is a doozy of a question.  First of all, I DO have loose skin. It’s not horrible, but it IS there.  Please remember to lose weight slowly. That is important, especially if you have a LOT of weight to lose. Also; drink lots of water.  Lift weights. Push and pull things.  Bend and twist your body.  Use essential oils and wraps and take very good care of your skin. Eat right.  Honestly; strength training is critical!  And the water.  Drink the water.
  3. “You wrote you started going to a gym but you didn’t write about what you did with your food and eating… of course I’m curious what changes you made!”
    • I hate talking about my food and eating because a) I have SED and what I eat will be boring to most people and b) I honestly believe folks should keep their eyes on their own plate and customize their menu and diet plan to their own needs. However; with that being said … I HAD to incorporate some new things into my diet and that was very difficult to do when you have grand anxiety over trying new foods; and you have a gag reaction to many textures, tastes and smells. I started out juicing a few fruits/veggies and moved onto Smoothies.  I will say that smoothies were key for me.  I began going to Jamba Juice and tried several of their creations. Some I liked, some I loved and some I hated.  I watched how they did it, then I went home and experimented on my own.  Meanwhile; I was also able to add eggs (only scrambled) into my diet, as well as several nuts, pecans, almonds and seeds into my orbit. I can now also eat most berries as-is, without putting them in a blender. My dad about fell out when he saw me eat a strawberry, lol.  I really like blackberries now. I can even eat watermelon. I can also eat sweet potatoes now, not just white potatoes.  However; there are some things that will just NEVER get into me because they make me sick, no matter how many different ways I try them.  Peaches would be one example. Broccoli is another.  I still do not eat salads and my food will only have sea salt, never pepper or any seasonings, no condiments, no sauces really.  Very plain and bland.
  4. “If you have any suggestions for overcoming SED I’d love to share them with my family.”
    • Basically, see above answer 🙂  My tips for overcoming SED are to start slowly, and do it in the privacy of your own home.  Whenever I decide I want to try something new, I usually decide ahead of time (not spontaneously), and I do it at home.  Nobody wants to get sick in public or in front of people.  I also suggest trying out juicers or blenders, and discovering smoothies.  I highly recommend the Vitamix. One thing to remember for the non-SED family member is that someone with SED will in fact go hungry before they eat something you deem they must eat.  That old saying ‘well, if they’re hungry enough, they’ll eat it’, well that’s not true.  Anxiety and fear will win out over hunger, every time.  So don’t be pushy.
  5. “What do yo do when you just DON’T wanna?”
    • Fake it til ya make it.  Sometimes you just have to do something anyway, whether you want to or not.  Energy creates energy.  Sometimes you just have to get moving. Inertia is a beautiful thing.  Sometimes you may have to make a deal with yourself, such as … well, I’ll just do 10 minutes, and then I can stop if I still feel bad.  Well, most times you will keep going.  Or, if you’re a gym person – just promise yourself you’ll go to the gym – just set foot in the place and check in – and then you can just sit in the lobby if you want, but just make yourself be there.  Well, 9 times out of 10, you’ll feel stupid just sitting there, lol … so you’ll do something.  Or not, but at least you’ll have made progress off the couch.  I will say that depression is a real thing, and that needs to be addressed if that is the problem.  If it is just a bad day, or you have some very REAL reasons to be in a bad mood … then give yourself 24 hours to feel those emotions.  Be mad, be angry, be sad, be pathetic – whatever – and then when the 24 hours is over – get back to your regularly scheduled life.  Pity party concluded.
  6. “How do you deal with physical pain and/or ailments?”
    • First of all; figure out if you’re just sore from working out, achy from the weather or something … or if you’re actually injured.  There IS a difference.  If you are, in fact, injured, then of course, see a doctor and address the injury and work around that. Also; if you are injured … that is the time to pay even MORE attention to your nutrition.  If you are just uncomfortable and experiencing some aches and pains ~ deal with it.  Soak in a hot tub, stretch, make friends with epsom salt and lavender oil.  Get busy.  You should be very aware of your body and very in tune with what feels normal and what are signals that something is seriously wrong.  Bottom line: Do not look for excuses to miss a workout.  Rather, look for ways to overcome challenges.
  7. “Do you work out if you’re sick?”
    • If I have a fever or I think I may be contagious, then no.  Rest is important.  Your body will need all of its energy to fight infection and recover.  If I am just dealing with sniffles, allergies or a common cold of sorts ~ then some moderate exercise may do me good.  Again, know your body and use your judgement.  Do NOT go to a gym though if you think you may be contagious.  I know that seems obvious, but you’d be amazed at the bulk heads I see pumping iron and sneezing snot, lol.
  8. “Do you work out when you’re on your period?”
    • Almost always.  However; I know some women that have debilitating cycles, so I cannot speak for them.
  9. “How do you lose weight when you hate eating vegetables?”
    • Smoothies.  It’s all about Smoothies, baby.
  10. and last but never least…. “Did your sex life and sex drive improve as you lost weight and got more fit?”
    • OMG, hands down, YES! Amen, hallelujah, thank God ~ YES.

As Always, Make Champion Choices,
The Healthy Habit Lady

Categories: Motivational, SED | Tags: , , | 7 Comments

I Was Interviewed (and on video)

aaaaackk…. she wants to video tape me talking about my eating disorder and losing weight ….. oh dear …

Well, those thoughts only lasted about two seconds; because after all, I’ve been talking about this obesity and problem called Selective Eating Disorder {SED} for quite some time.  I have made myself kind of public, and posted pictures and blogs and spoke candidly about my issues.  Why not do it on video?  No reason not to do that.  Except maybe that I hate my voice, but yeah, it’s the only one I have, so I’m not going to worry about THAT.  🙂

So, my very good friend – who is also a Certified Personal Trainer and Health Coach (Nancy Anne Martin), did an interview with me about being an extremely picky eater and losing over 180 pounds. We did this video in her kitchen. The video is kind of long, and they even cut stuff out, lol … but if you’re interested in my story at all –or this kind of thing , here is the YouTube video link.

And while you’re checking out this video, go ahead and check out Nancy Anne’s videos on cooking and recipes.  She runs a group called [Better Body] and it is fabulous.  It is a no-sales, no-gimmick group for support, encouragement, motivation and accountability.  The link for her Facebook group is: and the link to her YouTube channel for awesome cooking tips is this:

Me and Nancy Anne

Myself and Nancy Anne

As always, make champion choices,
The Healthy Habit Lady 

Categories: SED | Tags: , , , | 1 Comment

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