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I promise you God cares about the details.  After all, He IS the detail anyway.  

As I’ve sort of mentioned before, I am in chaos mode right now.  I seem to be getting bamboozled in a thousand different directions.  I’ve had issues with my boys having to change schools after only one week of school, moving, packing up the house, taking full time college courses, etc.  Then yesterday my husband’s grandfather died.  We loved that man and my middle son is even named after him.  This also threw a monkey wrench into things due to funeral and travel, etc.

Anyway, I got the boys moved to a new school but their list of school supplies needed was slightly different.  I had to go out and get a different binder for one son and a blue folder with prongs and pockets for my youngest son.  He had a green one, but that would not work – teacher said it has to be BLUE.  Okay – off to Target I go.

While delegating phone calls and searching for supplies, I see a good friend.  We chat, I adore her daughter and we go about our business.  I was happy to see a sweet face.   Anyway, before and after chatting with her, I had been diligently looking for this necessary blue folder.  I found all kinds of folders, various colors, but not a blue one with prongs – only pockets.  After all, school started over a week ago and the pickens were slim.  So chatting with my friend was a nice break from the searching.   She goes on her way so that the corn doesn’t get too warm, and in a last ditch effort, I stroll through the nearly empty aisle of school supplies to make my way to the front.  I had already been down this aisle several times and there were no blue folders to be found anywhere, and most of the shelves were empty, so it was obvious nothing was there.  

Well now I’ve decided that my friend Elaina whom I chatted with – is magical.  Because somehow, some way … after socializing with her, a blue folder WITH PRONGS spontaneously appeared in an empty aisle.  I kid you not, it was not there before.  Surely someone must have decided they did not want it and just tossed it aside.  I couldn’t believe it.  I had given up.  It even had the precious prongs that are so very important.  This saved me enormous time as now I did not have to go to a different store, or worry about this in a time-cramped schedule.

God didn’t have to toss me a blue folder.  Really, He didn’t.  But He did.  He sees my scurry.  He sees my worry.  He heard my thoughts.  He heard my heart.

Then, out of nowhere, I made a new friend at the new school – another mom who happens to be a friend of an existing GREAT friend – who helped me solve a crisis in about two minutes flat.  Amazing.  God just delivered her to my corner and solved the question of how I’d be in about three places at once.

I’m sure you’ve heard people say ‘Let Go and Let God’ … well, there is Truth in that.  If you are in a frenzy, God is not. He is the Deity in the details and by golly he can find you a blue folder when you need one.

As Always, Make Champion Choices,
The Healthy Habit Lady

Yoga teaches a type of breath called ujjayi (ooh-JAH-ee), which means ” victorious” … Inhale, you move into pose, and exhale – – you move out of pose.  Sounds simple enough, yes?  Then why in the world did it seem so complicated in class today?  Maybe because I’m stressed out to the max? Maybe because I know absolutely nothing about Yoga and am learning as I go along?  Regardless, when overwhelmed, center yourself and take a deep breath.  This is true in Yoga – and in LIFE.

I love this quote: “Breath is the bridge which connects life to consciousness, which unites your body to your thoughts” ~ said by Thich Nhat Hanh 

So what the heck is ujjayi and how do you do such a thing?  This breath will involve a small contraction of the glottis (the upper opening of the larynx) and partially closing it with the epiglottis.  Basically, the natural movement that happens as you swallow. If you do this correctly, you should hear a ‘hissing sound’ – such as an aspirant ‘hhhhh’ – like blowing your breath on a cold window to watch it fog. The sound shouldn’t be bold or very strong, as that could bring some strain to the vocal chords, yet it needs to be  audible to yourself, the one doing the breathing.  When you inhale and exhale, the durations should be equal … and they should be long and deep.  You might not be use to doing this kind of breathing.  Your breaths may be shallow and short.  That is okay.  Practice.  Yes, practice breathing.  Remember, breathing is your bridge to life.

I knew this information already, well kinda .. I mean I knew you were suppose to focus on your breathing when exercising, and I knew about deep breathing … but knowing it and doing it are two different things.  It also always seemed a little like some ‘new age’ hippy holistic kinda crap that was not really necessary.  Not trying to be obnoxious, just being honest.

So here’s the thing.  You know there’s always a ‘thing’.  I typically manage my life and my emotions and my obligations pretty well.  I’m all about balance, family, Faith and enjoying the journey.  But I am also human, and I also live on Planet Earth, and sometimes you just get caught in a crapstorm and the best you can do is just survive and move forward.  You eat your elephant one bite at a time.  The month of September is honestly just going to be chaotic.  I can’t avoid it, the best I can do is manage it and be proactive.

Yesterday, in the midst of one crisis after another, this firefighter mama was tired of extinguishing flames and decided to take a break.  I stopped what I was doing, mid-frustration, grabbed my boys, went to the pool, slid down a water slide and just had a big fat splash of a time.  I enjoyed my children.  I came home, went back to work, calmer and better focused.  Better armed with a plan. 

Today was a myriad of disaster mitigations, but I stayed true to my core values.  I did not curse out the crazy lady at the  school district offices, despite my temptation.  I eliminated unnecessary time restraints.  I delegated tasks that were able to be delegated.  I solved a huge problem with persistence and critical thinking. But most importantly … I remembered to breathe.  I remembered to find my center.  I did my workout, despite an overwhelming schedule.  I did not sell my soul to a bag of Cheetos or use cookies as my counselor. Now I may have inadvertently snapped at my husband once or twice, and for this I just apologize and appreciate his Grace.   

Maybe someday I’ll share with you all the comical details of the past few days and the ridiculous amount of stupidity thrown my way, but alas for now, just trust me when I say … there is beauty in our victorious breath .. like a child blowing bubbles!

                                                           My Son Thomas

As always, make champion choices,
The Healthy Habit Lady
{Although today I felt more like the crazy lady on a mission}

Today is my husband’s birthday and he is one of my greatest blessings, we have an awesome family together.  I have been married to him for over 21 years and I praise God for this miracle.  

Before I ever met him, I had a dear friend who told me of my ‘perfect’ husband that was out there, waiting to meet me, and to be patient, and that he would be honorable and amazing.  Almost like a prophecy of sorts.  She was right.  Alyscia, my sweet friend, was right.

So I’m taking a class in college right now called Marriage and Family.  I had an assignment to discuss my opinion and thoughts on the definition of ‘Family’ and specifically whether or not I agree with the author’s definition in our textbook.  I found this task very interesting.  It also got me thinking about those in my life that I love and adore and that I call my ‘Family’.

What about my family?  Well obviously my husband and children are my family.  But even within that immediate dynamic, we ADOPTED my daughter out of foster care and then I gave birth to our three sons.  I have blood family and I have marital family and I have extended family.  

However; there is a magnificent woman, named Alyscia, whom I consider family, although others might find it weird. I met Alyscia 3,000 miles away from home when I was just 20 years old and had moved to California by myself.  She is so dear to me  – and in typical circumstances we probably never would have met, and certainly not been friends.  She is the age of my father.  She is more like a sister despite our age difference, but truly she is my family.  She mentored me and prayed for me and filled a void in my young adult life that was much needed.  She is black and I am white, and we lived in completely different parts of Los Angeles (where I knew not a soul) – and it is pretty much a miracle that we even came to be friends, and hung out, much less eventually be family.  We stayed in touch even when there wasn’t an internet. She’s been in my home and we’ve traveled together. She loves my children like her own. I quote her all the time.  She is feisty and determined and a passionate advocate of God’s divine mercy and love.  She is an overcomer and a prayer warrior. She is the epitome of energetic zeal for life. She is in her 70’s and probably looks like she’s 40 at most. She’s gorgeous and gentle, articulate and intelligent and I’m pretty sure she was sent to me directly by God as one of my greatest gifts. In the 25 years I have known her, we have only lived in the same city for the first two.  Right now, we live in completely different places as I am in Texas and she is in Georgia, but I love her.  And she loves me, without a doubt.  I hope you have someone in your life like that.  And if you do – tell them.   Tell them now.  Lie is short.

So my sweet Alyscia Darling (I’ve been calling her that since I met her) … I hope you are reading this … you are precious to me and I love you with every fiber of my being.  And even if you don’t read this, I’ll call you on the phone and tell you myself, because we still use telephones in my family 🙂

Alyscia Darling and my 3 Boys (Spring 2014)

As always, make champion choices,
The Healthy Habit Lady {a.k.a. Debra Darling according to Alyscia}

Warning, this may get long-winded.

I believe I have a love-hate relationship with Facebook.  In some ways it is amazing and has kept me informed and connected with family and friends. It has helped me to find long lost friends and relatives I may not have otherwise discovered.  It also has a wonderful community aspect with Church groups, or garage sale groups, mom groups, etc. – and it has facilitated me meeting real live people, you know, in person.  For this I am eternally appreciative.

However; the onset of this social media epidemic has actually ended up isolating some people.  Especially those who work from home, or moms who stay at home, or those of us who do both.

With permission, I am copying and pasting here something a friend of mine, Kay, posted on Facebook today.  I actually know this friend IRL “In Real Life”.  I went to Church with her in another city, and have done business with her several times.  She is kind, genuine, honest, sweet, giving, helpful, fun, hilarious, adorable, authentic and of great moral character.  She’s an awesome mom, with a fabulous husband, who runs a home-based business from her house.  So here is what she posted:

“Wanted: A friend to go walking with / cook with / golf with / go shopping / go out to lunch with on occasional Tuesdays and Thursdays. I feel so incredibly lonely and isolated staying at home. Tired of calling people and “fishing” for a friend to spend time with. Tired of people who say we should get together, but blow me off. Tired of being the only one who calls, but the same people don’t call me. Most of my friends work during the day or live far away. So if you are out there in cyber world and want to hang out in real life please let me know. Trust me, I have references that I am a good friend, I am a funny story teller, and I am worth doing something with. Boy, I sound pitiful, but I don’t want to waste time on people who don’t care anymore. Just private message me.”

Now, here is my question:  How many of you out there have felt exactly the same way?  I know I have.  I told her I did not think it was a pathetic or pitiful post at all, but rather brave and honest.  I know when I moved to my current city a bit over two years ago, I was very lonely and quite miserable.  We had a hard time finding a Church home at first, and I had zero female friends to meet up with, in real life.  I had gazillions of online friends and tons of social media interaction … but honestly, it is NOT the same.  And it shouldn’t be the same.  

About a year ago or more, I posted something similar to Kay’s post – just not as detailed.  It was something to the effect of ‘Accepting applications for best friend, please apply in person’ … short and simple.  Do you know that the only people who commented were either far away friends or online friends I’ve never met.  I realize folks may have thought I was kidding or that it was a rhetorical inquiry … but it was an interesting experiment none-the-less.

Nobody wants to be the one who makes all the effort.  Relationships are typically quite important to women.  Even if you’re an introvert and not necessarily a social butterfly, you still need solid friendships with real people, the kind you can hug. 

Present day, I dare say, I now have some incredible women in my REAL life.   Some are from Church, some are not, but God heard my plea.  I was diligent and consistent in my prayer for female friendship.   I also realized that I couldn’t just wish for it or hope for it, I had to do a bit of asking and inviting myself.  Sometimes friendships are seasonal, and sometimes they are eternal .. but they are vital … so please be sure to nurture them.  

Who can you call today?  Who can you send a hand written note of encouragement?  Who could use your help with babysitting or listening?  Who can you invite into your circle?  Who can you count on?  Who can count on you?

Loneliness is real.  But it doesn’t have to be an epidemic.  Below is a picture of a great friend.  Her name is Lisa. We met when I was barely out of high school.  We lost touch for a period of probably five years or so and she missed the birth of all my kids – but God Bless Facebook because that is how we found each other again.  I was so excited to hug her and share dessert with her on my last trip to Virginia. You know what is really cool about my gal Lisa?  We could not be more different … seriously, completely different, and I’ve had this chic live with me on two separate occasions, lol.   Friends like that, you just never want to lose.

My good friend Lisa

As always, make champion choices,
The Healthy Habit Lady